

Nicholas meets a messed-up young woman who he quickly falls in love with, then proceeds to have sex with multiple times over the course of, oh, thirty pages or so. So, The Ninja is about martial arts, right? Well, not quite. As an adult, his dormant skills are needed to combat an equally deadly murderer terrorising his home. He’s apparently managed to master several of them, which in real life would be downright miraculous. As a boy he was instructed in the ancient and mysterious (not really but we’ll get to that) ways of various Japanese martial arts. Nicholas Linnear is a man conflicted over his past. Hang on, I’m getting ahead of myself here… Eric… VAN LUSTBADER shamelessly exploits a culture that he knows almost nothing about to lend a veneer of the oriental and mysterious to an otherwise boring as fuck thriller about a man being raped by his cousin. The Ninja is an exciting, semi-erotic tale that caters to the ‘I’ve never been outside the USA’ market. Deformed horrors that I have, unfortunately, actually read. But this is about older deformed horrors. I would go so far as saying that he’s mastered it, since somebody thought he was worthy to take up the ‘Bourne’ mantle from Ludlum, the series’ original author, and unleash two more of those deformed horrors upon the world. LUSTBADER specialises in the ‘crappy thriller’ genre. (NOTE: There’s a fair amount of ‘mature content’ in this one. Henceforth, I shall refer to our author du jour as ‘ Eric… van LUSTBADER ‘. You know what? A name like that deserves some sort of formatting. Today’s offering is the ridiculous, misogynistic, and downright stupid The Ninja, by ‘Eric van Lustbader’.
